We have more friends now

One thing I’ve noticed about myself that I want to work on is my squad mentality. I’m not really sure if this is the right term, but I’m going to call it that for now.

What has happened is that I started off with a very close-knit group of friends from high school. We used to do everything together – meals, trips, just lazing around a house for fun. But now as years have gone by and some of us have moved out of our little neighbourhoods, we don’t do everything together anymore. And it’s not just doing stuff together – many of us have found partners now too so our group is doubling in size.

I catch myself often times subconsciously leaving them out. I do this when I ask for group pics with just the original squad members. I do this when I call people “+1s”.

I’m not sure why I do it and I’m also not sure if anyone cares. It’s just that sometimes I think it’s not very nice, especially for the partners who have been hanging out with us for years already. By now, aren’t they just my friends too?

I find that I keep myself to the same standard when I hang out with my boyfriend’s friends. Similarly, he also has a close-knit group of high school friends that he still sees. In that group, I single myself out as the +1. I never get upset about it because I like to think that I have my own group of friends. I am ok with being a +1. I am ok not being in the group. I have my own life.

But that’s not to say everyone thinks like me. And it’s not to say everyone has a group of their own. Maybe some people do wanna join the group. Maybe they don’t like being called a +1.

I’m not sure if it’s because I just miss the “good old days” or if it’s simply because these people are so special to me that I feel like I need to hold onto them. Sometimes, I don’t even try to get to know someone until they’ve been around for awhile. I didn’t like the idea of getting to know someone and then never seeing them again after my friend and he/she breaks up. Regardless of why, I don’t feel as if I have been truly welcoming and accepting of new people in my life.

These are the people who make my friends happy and I should be happy too. I shouldn’t be stuck in memory lane telling everyone to come back with me. We should be moving forward.

Our joy has doubled. It’s a good thing.

Sincerely, Loewe