What is a friend to me?
Lately it has come to my attention that sometimes there are expectations with friendships and sometimes there are not.
For example, with a certain friend you might not talk to them for long periods of time but it doesn’t affect your friendship at all. You still consider each other the closest of friends as if no time has passed at all.
With another friend, this may not be the case. Perhaps your friend will get disappointed in you if you don’t catch up with them every now and then. It is important to know that and try to do more of that for your friend.
Over the years, I learned that having expectations for my friends don’t really work because I realized you can’t control what people do anyways lol. With expectations, you can possibly meet disappointment. But with little expectations, you find more pleasant surprises in your life.
So yes, I would say that I take things as it goes. If a friend does something nice for me or sends me a nice message, it is a pleasant event and I feel happy. I don’t expect it from them just because they are my friend. Conversely, if they do not do anything for me, I feel pretty neutral and I still see them as my friend. Nothing changes too much.
What is friendship to me? I think it’s a relationship that has a profound comfortableness to it. It’s being comfortable enough to sit in silence and enjoy it, or to talk about really embarrassing or dark things, or to tell them, “Hey what you did wasn’t cool” because you have their best interest at heart. It’s being comfortable enough to not see each other or talk to each other all the time because you feel your bond is strong enough.
What is friendship to me? I think it’s a lot of learning and understanding. Understanding what your friend likes or dislikes, how they prefer to be communicated, how they feel loved. It’s being understanding when not everything is sunshine and rainbows and you disappoint each other. It’s understanding that every friend is different and how they see a friend can be different too.
What is friendship to me? It’s not that complicated in my mind. If you make me laugh and I have fun with you, then you are my friend.
You don’t need to be the shoulder I cry on or the one that got me through a hard time. If you are, thank you for those moments. If you’re not, you are still my friend. You don’t need to have grown up with me or know me for years. If you are, thank you for staying with me. If you’re not, you’re still my friend.
You don’t need to change anything about you. If you are my friend, everything you do for me is a pleasant moment.
Sincerely, Loewe