What makes us crazy?
Lately I’ve been thinking about insecurities and how they make us crazy. That’s right – you’re not crazy because you were born crazy. You are crazy because the insecurities you have inside you have driven you to be so.
How do I wrap up the thoughts in my mind? Let’s start with my own journey with insecurities.
I’ve had a pretty normal relationship with my insecurities. Like you and everyone else, I have things I don’t love about myself. Sometimes I am insecure about my hair or my big forehead. Other times I’m insecure about the scar on my knee or my dark circles. It varies from day to day, but I had and have always had my own insecurities.
I deal with them in my own ways. Sometimes I find solutions – like using my hair to cover my forehead (lol please don’t ask me to tie my hair up). Other times, I just get upset. I complain and ask for help from other people, but for the most part, I try to deal with my insecurities myself.
Why do I specify this? Because over time, I realized insecurities are more than just physical flaws. Insecurities became bigger things. The most common insecurities in adults are:
- Relationship stability
- Job security
- Financial security
- Body image
I want to focus specifically on #1: relationship stability because I hear this all the time – “your girlfriend is crazy”. What kind of girlfriends are these? They are the ones who are controlling and passive aggressive – the kind that won’t let their boyfriends see their friends or think they have the right to look through your phone messages.
There are all sorts of reasons this behaviour exists. Past experiences and pain can make someone defensive and fearful. Sometimes, the boyfriend is the asshole and reinforces the insecurity in the relationship. But as outsiders, we group it all up as just craziness because at the end of the day, it’s still toxic behaviour. A healthy stable relationship is simply not like this.
I too, am guilty of thinking and calling someone a “crazy” girlfriend. After thinking about it a lot, I realize again that this craziness stems from them being insecure and how sad that truly is when you think about it from that perspective.
Insecurities make us do and say crazy things. They make us blame other people for things not going the way we want it to. They make us possessive and controlling because we want to protect ourselves from being hurt. They turn us into hateful and mean monsters. They make us ugly from the inside. They make us hurt other people because we are hurting too.
If you are being labeled as a “crazy” girlfriend, I hope you love yourself more and see all the good and lovely things about yourself. I hope you trust your partner more or find a partner who does not make you feel like they will leave you at any given moment. I hope you give and receive support to other women instead of seeing them as competition or a threat.
All of us have insecurities and our own monsters. I hope we do not make our own insecurities something someone else has to deal with.
I hope all of us become happy confident individuals. I know we all want to be like that.
Sincerely, Loewe