Wow it’s been a year and we haven’t broken up yet

I have been single for most of my life and generally, it wasn’t that bad. But there were many times I wondered if there was something wrong with me – some sort of reason as to why things just never seemed to work out with anybody.

Perhaps that’s just what happens when you’re single for a long time. Even if you are a great person, you start to question yourself. Maybe I’m not attractive enough. Maybe I’m not considerate enough (me lol). Maybe I will die alone.

People always reassure you as if you are the heroine of some romantic comedy who is guaranteed a partner at the end of it all. They say things like:

• You’re too good for him/her
• The “right” person will “find” you soon
• There’s still lots of time
• He/she likes you for sure
• Just give people a chance

And you’re like yeah of course that makes sense. Everyone was single before they were not single and there is someone out there just for me, right?

Or maybe there isn’t? Maybe I am in that small percentage of people who never find a partner? Because that happens too you know.

And then you start getting defensive, like well what’s wrong with that if I don’t have a partner? Do I feel like I want to just because everyone else seems to have one?

And if you are asking yourself that right now I can tell you straight up that it’s very normal to want to be with someone. It’s very normal to want to be loved. It’s very normal to want to share things with someone special.

It doesn’t mean you only want a partner because everyone else has one. It could literally just mean you want a partner. Perhaps you’ve always wanted a partner even before anyone else around you got one. There’s nothing wrong with being like this or feeling any of this.

Why am I even writing any of this? Because I get it (or at least I think I do). I mean, every person’s life and his or her relationships with other people are different, but I feel like I get it – being a single person who doesn’t necessarily want to be single.

You feel like there is no one out there for you. You feel like love is real but maybe it won’t happen for you. You see other people fall in love multiple times and take themselves into back-to-back relationships and you wonder why you can’t even get one for yourself. You just kinda live your life and spend time with your friends and roll with it.

And that’s all cool. You do you and appreciate the people you have in your life, especially yourself. Because even if you find a partner who becomes the love of your life, the person you will still be spending the most time with is you.

(A moment of silence for all of you who don’t like yourself and think finding a partner will fix that).

Why am I even writing any of this? x2 Because I don’t think any of you are interested in reading happy fluff about my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend today (If you do though, you can read the very bottom of this post).

It’s kinda like that hateful success story syndrome. Woo I’m in a relationship now and I’m soOoOo hApPy.

I’m not trying to tell you that just because I am happy and in love now that it will happen for you. Because I don’t know if that will happen. I didn’t even think it would happen for me.

I do, however, hope that it will happen if this is something you want for yourself. There is no advice I can offer you except to continuously try to be a good person to you and others and to just enjoy your life.

Sincerely, Loewe

Some happy fluff.

In the last year there hasn’t been a single time where my boyfriend wasn’t there for me. He was there through all my good and the bad – deaths, injuries, starvation (just kidding mom and dad, please enjoy yourselves… but leave the fridge stocked please).

In many ways, I feel like he just gets me, which is very rare to find in this world, someone who really gets you. He knows why I’m upset before even I do. He knows what will cheer me up in the moment of. When I say something terrible and really mean, he doesn’t judge me (shutup, I know all of you say terrible things too).

It’s easy to love someone when they are happy and healthy and everything is going well, but it’s not easy when things are not going well – when the other person is irritable or sad. I want to thank him for all his patience and understanding and love towards even the ugly sides of me. It’s difficult to love yourself sometimes, let alone a whole other person.

I think we have something really special and precious and I hope our days together continue just as it has been. I love you more than deep fried potatoes. You make me want to be a better person to you and all the people I care about.